translate

Thursday, 22 August 2013

When Jill had a spot of bother


Rapunzel’s iphone rang; it was Jill. ‘Hi Jill, how’s things?’
There was a sob at the other end of the line, ‘Jill, what’s up Hunny?’ Rapunzel waited whilst the sobs and sniffles reduced. ‘I don’t know what to do…’ more sobs.
‘Uh huh….’
‘He’s just useless; he’s doing my head in. He can’t do anything right and now he’s in hospital.’ The sobs increased to full volume.
‘Stay there Jill, I’ll come right over.’
Grabbing the keys to her Beamer, Rapunzel ran down the stairs, undid the solid oak door, drew up the portcullis and lowered the ramp across the moat. Stepping back into the hall to retrieve the keys off the portmanteau, she glanced in the mirror and admired her biceps… ‘good work going to the gym’, she thought.
Zigzagging her way across the country lanes, she reached the hospital to see Jill sitting on the steps of A&E, cigarette dangling from her fingers, her head on her knees.
‘Sod disabled parking spaces,’ she thought as she handbrake turned into one, nearly sending an old dear and her Zimmer frame into a lamppost. She jumped from the car and ran across to Jill. ‘Hunny, I’m here, what’s happened?’
More sobs as Jill realised who it was, ‘Oh Rapunzel! She rose off the steps and hugged her friend. He’s such a daft bugger; he went without me!’
Rapunzel looked puzzled… ’went where?’

‘He went to open up the acequia to let the water through, he yanked too hard on the gate and came flying backwards down the track, cracking his head open.’ Jill sobbed again, ‘bloody Jack, if he wasn’t so soddin ill, I’d kill him!’